Sorry it’s been so long since we’ve written, but just about every time Tegwedd wants to work on a post, Stephen is either at one of the fantasy sex sites he is addicted to, or playing one of his computer games. Those fantasies sex sites, such as Twinkle, Triple X, and IMVU you have been the cause of the several hacks of his system, because they are just full of people who take advantage of people like Stephen and their cupidity, and stupidity, to hack into their systems. He refuses to admit to either himself or us that he is addicted to these sites, and his computer games, and that unscrupulous people use this addiction to take advantage of people like him. Anyway, we were down to one putty; Dr. Livingston. Two of our putties,Pyewacket III and Charcoal, had died of mysterious causes, probably having been poisoned by anti-freeze, and Putty Bear ran away because his buddy and littermate died. Charcoal died of a broken heart because Stephen is too addicted to is computer games and his fantasy sex websites to pay attention to him except to yell at him. There was only Dr. Livingstone left. She was active and weird.. All three of us gave her lots of TLC. One Saturday we all went around the corner and across the street to Felix’s place in the hopes of getting high and taking out a puttiette to bring home and raise. But Felix wasn’t home. We went back home. Stephen stayed out and came back and got us. There was a putty we had to come and see. Some neighbors were giving her away. She was docile and readily came to Dallan’s arms. The guys she lived with called her Dolphin, but we added an a to make her name more feminine. Later she turned out to be pregnant, and voraciously hungry. She came in the house saying, “This is my house, these are my humans, I live here. Where’s my dinner?”
She later had three kittens who all died. Tegwedd could see that Dolphina was not cut out to be a mother and wondered how we would manage to get her spayed and vaccinated. This was in the beginning of spring. As spring rolled on, someone poked a flyer into the fence that Tegwedd took as a sign from the Goddess. It was an offer to vaccinate, microchip, spay or neuter any animals at no cost to us. Accordingly, one Tuesday in May, Tegwedd and Dallan bundled Dolphina in the putty carrier and took her down to the park six blocks away to have her attended to. We thought there would be a big crowds there, and that Tegwedd would have to spend a lot of time in line, so she brought her walker, so that there would be a place for her to sit down while in the line. But there was no line. We were first up to the cat booth, where a very nice woman filled out some forms for us and asked us some questions. Then we went to the SPCA Van, where Dolphina was taken from us for a few minutes to be vaccinated and microchipped. After that, we got in line to get a collar and arrange for her to be spayed. At first we despaired that we could get her there, but this woman was also very nice and asked us our ages. When we told her 68 and 67,, she said, “You are eligible for senior pickup and delivery.” We took Dolphina home using the side streets because taking her along Stockton Boulevard have been disturbing for her. A little more than a week later, on a Friday morning, a very nice young man named Mike Vasquez picked her up in her cat carrier, took her to the SPCA, and we did other things while she was being operated on. Then at about 5:30, which was after supper for us, she was delivered back to us with the instructions on how to treat her and her incision. Since she was still a little unsteady, Tegwedd letter,her come out of the cat carrier on her own. Dolphina continued to be weird, buzzed ferociously, and follow us into the bathroom. She was fascinated by the water going down in the toilet. She also liked having us all to herself, where she could get lots of attention and affection while we were sitting on the pop. She especially likes to be scratched on her belly, and will come up to us, plop down on her side or back with her belly exposed. She buzzed ferociously, so that Tegwedd would call her a ferocious buzzard. She also likes butter, and employs the martial art of tongue ful. When she first got here, when we fed her, she would growl while she ate. We figured that that was how she had survived before she came here, fighting the other putties off of her food. After living here for a week or two she finally realized that no one would take her food away from her and she started to buzz while eating. On May 28, we put away the food so that she would have nothing to eat at a certain time of night. The next day when she came out of a cat carrier, she came straight for Dallan’s chest. “She wants her hooman,” Tegwedd said.
Then towards the end of June, Aphrodite, an orange tabby came into our lives. One of the women who run the laundromat where we go had a litter of kittens that she was trying to find homes for. We told her that we wanted a female. We met Karen at the laundromat. Actually, we met her on the bus, and rode with her to the laundromat. She gave us each a soda to drink while we waited for her granddaughter to bring the kitten, who was about seven weeks old, but supposedly already weaned. The granddaughter had carried her in her backpack while she rode there on her bike. We thanked her, named the kitten Aphrodite, and came home. Tegwedd followed the same for the procedure she had with Dolphina; she showed her where the food was and where the litterbox wa’s. Aphrodite also said “This is my house. I live here. These are my humans. Where’s my dinner?”
Aphrodite seemed like a normal puttiette when we first saw her, but as soon as she came in the house, she turned weird. She likes to perch on our shoulders while we do the Pirate line from the Firesign theater: “Arrgh! Let me get me dog and let’s go! Come on, blind Jim!” But her main fetish, and it is a fetish, is the flyswatters. We have several flyswatters which we use to kill bugs. Aphrodite squeaks whenever one of us is handling the flyswatter, and wants to get it. If Stephen even gets near the flyswatter, she started squeaking, and comes to where he is, so that he has no choice but to pick up the flyswatter and start swatting at bugs. We laugh and laugh at her. She doesn’t seem to mind being laughed at, and being a figure of fun. Tegwedd is waiting for the SPCA to offer the same kind of service for Aphrodite that they did for Dolphina. Tegwedd wrote a letter to Karen from Aphrodite’s point of view, saying how much she liked it here. Karen thought it was very cute. Tegwedd has altered one of the Hall & Oates: old songs, “The Man Eater,” to “The Ham Eater.” “Oh Oh, here she comes she’s the ham eater,” because they both love ham.
Aphrodite is also an escape artist. We don’t want to let her out until after she’s been spayed, but she has other ideas, and once spring comes and she goes into estrus, it’ll be especially difficult to keep her inside. We have what we call “union rules” (since we’re all Wobblies), and one is that whenever you walk by a putty, you have to stop and molest her, all; that is, scritch her belly. Dolphina likes the eyrie outside. Felix gave us an old cat tree with a shelf on the top for a putty to climb up and lie in. When she sees Tegwedd coming, she will plop down on her side and expose her belly for Tegwedd or Dallan to scratch. And of course all three of them love catnip. We think that Aphrodite was weaned too early because when Dolphina stopped growling and hissing at her, Aphrodite started to nurse on her. They’re pretty much set inseparable now, and even now several months later, in the middle of winter Aphrodite will still occasionally nurse on one of Dolphina’s teats. We are all surprised that Dolphina permits this behavior. Guess it’s just one more of the weird behaviors of putties.
Stephen says, “Dolphina is a fast learner who took Dr. Livingstone’s instructions to heart. It’s also funny how Dolphina lets Aphrodite suck on her. It is also funny how Dolphina is fascinated with the putty tower and in her insistence on being on top while Dr. Livingston takes one level down. I think it’s a hierarchy thing. Dolphina has really taken Aphrodite under her wing, so to speak. When you and Dallan brought Aphrodite into the house, I said ‘here is a little putty suffering from cuteness syndrome.’ I was more than a little distressed when she kept crapping under the TV table in my room, but apparently either Dr. Livingston or Dolphiina finished the job of litter box training her. She basically does her little squeaking thing when you’re thinking about using the flyswatter or if you’re just passing by the cabinet. She has a real thing for flyswatters. She grabs at it and pulls on it. She lies half in and half out of the putty condo. You’ll be far away and she’ll squeak and you can’t pinpoint where she is. She prefers the ground level because that way she can lie in half and half out as is her wont.”
Stephen isn’t a putty but Tegwedd will brief you on what he’s been doing lately. After three years of trying to get on Oranum, which is a psychic reading site in Luxembourg, he finally got on. Now that the ather is clad old he’s able to put on his robe and get on it more often like every night make every day maybe every day ask for Abbottsinn on http://www.oranum.com. It’s a video reading so you’ll be able to see him and the cards he draws. Have a happy new year. Hope 2016 is a better year for you and yours than 2015 was.